He knew of it: that second world, that second society. But what use was that knowledge? He tried to cope through his DOGS, but only hurt more. Hurt more people. Hurt himself. Hurt his old pseudodaughter. Was there... Redemption? In this world? He saw the behemot GUILT. He fears he only fed it further. Is that rebellion, the BITE he was inflicted, is that his redemption?
Was he to be some sort of prophet for that other world? What purpose was there in having it revealed to him? Did it just merely happen, struck by lightning and expected to live with it by the quarce-deep cosmos? To think, he believed in a purpose before. To think, that he had already 'dealt' with these thoughts before. He never did, and this he was conscious of now. He was a disgusting human. And as much as he does not want to comprehend it, he still is that very same disgusting human - unwilling to let himself die.
Not many reasons have been legitimized. Not that were not through the infantile rational, nor the malice objective. Does she seek a TRUE truth? Not necessarily, nothing specific, at least. She merely wants to live. *erem.
(Symbol in Corner: embrace++reject)